Hope, desires, and great expectations are spectacular words that fill us with an unimaginable strength to bear difficult situations. Hope is good and good things never die. I understand that it is hard to push yourself ahead for a better future with unprepared responsibilities on your shoulders. But I am a woman with extraordinary expectations for myself.

Some birds are not meant for the cage. They know these cages are places where they will sit for a while and prepare themselves to fly high. With the hope of being able to fly one day, I worked on myself and continue to do so.

I got married at the age of 18 years and left my study halfway. Marriage was a long pause in my life, but the sparks of achieving something different keep me going. Being sensitive allowed me to piece together shattered pieces into a cohesive whole.

I had no mentor so I did what my mom and husband said, obediently fulfilling all their wishes. I still remember when I got my period the day after my marriage ceremony, my husband was not happy. Although he didn’t say anything explicitly to me, his asking about it was weird. I can still feel his cold expression.

Girls are taught the importance of making others happy and being pretty, quiet, and funny but we are also expected to cover our pain behind beautiful smiles.

Society dictates that marriage is a requirement, followed by motherhood, and that is all. Your mind and body are not their responsibility. I was in unspoken pain, and I could not express anything to anybody, as they all treated me according to their standards.

I wasn’t treated respectfully when I was young, and this is my question to those who pushed me into motherhood at the tender age of 18: Was there no consideration for my wisdom? Did my child not deserve a mature and understanding mother?

As a new mother to a baby girl, I experienced severe pain when the doctor forcefully squeezed my body for breastfeeding, sternly dictating that it was my duty as a mother to feed my hungry baby. I was so scared for my baby, but despite my fears, I summoned my strength, tied my hair tightly, and prepared myself for the adventures ahead.

At that moment, I had someone who said to me “I trust you” and “I feel safe in your arms.” It was my baby, my princess, who made me feel I was enough for her.

I find myself torn between two dilemmas: 'I wish I had' and 'I am glad I did.' I relate to both in equal measure. While I wish I had more time to adjust to the facts of life, I am now glad to have a companion who understands and navigates these facts with me.