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Growing up in India is not easy. Most topics discussed abroad are spoken about in code, without any explanation. Parents go a step further and try to brush them under the carpet. If a child asks their parents how they were born, they tend to become super awkward and look at each other, as if fishing for an answer. They might explain 'it' by saying something childish like, “The Gods sent you to us from heaven,” or the famous story of a stork or an angel putting the baby in a mother’s belly. Parents usually get annoyed when their child constantly asks these questions and eventually try to shut them up.

Bollywood movies and Ekta Kapoor’s serials have shown sex in ridiculous, hilarious ways as the awkward love-making of two adults with roses and candles. Bollywood movies have used flower play, rain, wet clothes and squirming of eyes, hands, bonfires etc to depict sex. Awkward suhagrat scenes make it look extremely stupid and create more awkwardness between parents and their children.

Most of us must have undergone a horrifying teenage phase when our parents tried talking about sex, considered a huge taboo in Indian families and society. The awkwardness one experiences around parents when they try broaching the topic of sex or when condom ads appear on TV makes us remember the need to do random stuff like filling water, dealing with a headache or worse – acting all coy and innocent as if we were alien to the concept of sex or anything sexual.

The Bollywood movie Shubh Mangal Savdhaan starring Bhumi Pednekar and Ayushman Khurana has a scene where Sugandha’s (played by Bhumi) mom is trying to give her the “sex talk”. Sugandha says, “Ginni aane wali hai.” The mom talks about sex metaphorically and tells her daughter “Ginniyan Hazar milengi, Mummy sirf ek, life-long education de rahi hoon, lele.” Sugandha says, “Sex to bola nahi jaata aapse khaakh education doge aap.” The mom reacts with, “Haww ! Kaise bol leti hai tu! Tu samjh nahi rahi hai main kya keh rahi hoon.”

She then talks about the hymen, vagina and sex symbolically by saying, “Yeh jo aurat ka sharir hota hai, yeh jo ek rehsay ka khazana hota hai. Aur yeh ek band gufa mein rehta hai.”

The gufa here symbolises hymen. Further, she asks, "Aur yeh gufa kab khulti hai pata hai?” Sugu replies ” Jab koi khul ja Sim-Sim bolta hai, Mummy.” Sughanda's mom retorts "Nahi nahi suhag raat wale din khulti hai aur chaalis choro ke liye nahi khulti sirf Ali Baba ke liye.” Sugandha asks “Aur Ali Baba Gufa tak pahuche hi na to?

She gets angry with her mom, “Mummy, iss education ki zaroorat, na, Ali Baba ko hai. Gufa ko nahi aayi aapki baat samjh. Please aap jao, Ginni aane wali hai.” She then asks her mother to leave the room. The next scene shows Sugandha sharing her problems with her best friend Ginni. Youngsters in India find it comfortable to discuss sex with their best friends without any judgements and awkwardness.

South Asian parents often have a conservative mentality, which is understandable given how society was organized when they were growing up. The new generation, with its progressive thinking, challenges their parents’ old-fashioned views by asking questions. This creates an uncomfortable environment and perpetuates a regressive mindset, as sex was never addressed by their parents when they were teens.

Young adults usually hold a positive or respectable image of their parents, making it difficult to visualize them having sex due to different cultural influences. We are seldom taught to view them as consenting individuals making their own choices.

This topic was subtly touched upon in the film Badhaai Ho, when Ayushman Khurana’s character is making out with his girlfriend, Rene, who asks, “Are parents supposed to be doing all this?” She throws a pillow at him! In the next scene, she asks him, “Do you find it embarrassing that your parents have sex?”

Thinking of his parents as sexual beings makes him feel gross. Similarly, in real life, visualizing our parents in a sexualized way evokes feelings of awfulness and disgust. Our parents' generation was expected to get married, have kids, and live happily – the ideal of perfect domestic marital bliss overshadowing their sexual desires. Furthermore, our parents represent a generation that believed in nurturing a happy family, however defined.

Indian parents need to discuss sex openly and without inhibitions or judgments. They need to maintain an open mind and recognize that their children may not always be mistaken, and it is perfectly acceptable to engage in conversations about sex rather than avoiding them. It is high time for parents to acknowledge that their children may hold views similar to their own. As we enter adulthood in our twenties, achieving financial independence and navigating relationships or sexual relationships, we are at a stage where we must handle everything that life presents us with.

When parents break stereotypes and societal taboos related to sex, it not only helps young adults better understand sex but also enables them to find a confidant with whom they can discuss their sex life without fear of judgment. Initially, discussing such topics may seem challenging, but parents need to educate their children about sex. Without this discussion, parents leave their young teens vulnerable to unpredictable and irresponsible behaviour. Teaching them about safe sex and celebrating their first experience of safe sex as a milestone in their lives, rather than frowning upon it, sets a positive course for the future. Understanding that a child's sex life is not tied to their family's image or honour in society is crucial.

Sex is a basic need for human beings as social animals, recognized as a basic need akin to hunger and thirst. It contributes significantly to well-being and should be a normalized topic of discussion. Parents must overcome awkwardness and cultivate open, transparent relationships with their children, showing sensitivity and empathy. Without creating a sex-positive atmosphere at home, it becomes challenging for children to discuss such matters openly.

Parents should also educate boys about consent, maturity, and responsibility. As societal norms evolve, parents need to adapt their thinking and attitudes towards discussing sex. They should shed any lingering awkwardness, prejudices, or inhibitions, reflecting on their own experiences as teenagers and young adults.